Depersonalization... What in the world?

So, this is my attempt at updating, in some way, this blog that I have had so much trouble updating in the recent months. Forgive me, and read on, for what could be a real eye opener for many people.

I posted this in a Lyme support group that I am a leader on. I hope this helps some people to understand yet another facet of Lyme disease.

The Google dictionary defines depersonalization as: "the action of divesting someone or something of human characteristics or individuality."

WHAT?

Yeah, my thoughts too.

So here is a better definition... Coming fromhttp://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/262888.php we get this:

"Depersonalization is a dreamlike feeling of being disengaged from your surroundings - where things seem 'less real' than they should.

People who suffer from severe depersonalization say that it feels as if the they are watching themselves act from a distance without having a sense of complete control.

Even though depersonalization is harmless, it can be extremely disturbing for the person experiencing it."

My thoughts exactly. My life has been taken by depersonalization often, some times for long periods of time (I'm talking months) and other times, just an hour or two a day.

Usually, it's an occurrence that goes on for a few days to a few weeks at a time for me. It has been very hard to realize, and typically it is something that we don't realize until we are far into it, or have come out of it.

I am a mom of three little congenital Lymies. And until Lyme went full-blown in my body, I was always very active with them, and with life in general.

I was an in-charge person, happy, loving life, and ready to take on the next day.

Then Lyme took charge and left me, a pile of my former self, on the couch/dining room chair, ignoring the world around me, watching, through uninterested eyes, what my husband was doing (cooking the dinners that I used to cook, playing with the kids that I used to play with, etc.) and not really feeling anything at all.

I would say this is something highly linked to a form of depression. I'm not a depression expert, but I would say there's got to be more than one type! I bet, if there's not yet, one day there will be a "depression spectrum," like Autism.

I digress.

I know that since Lyme has been center stage, I've numbed. I've grown to hate talking. I've grown to loathe phone calls. In fact, I typically don't answer my phone. Even when I know it is someone I love dearly.

I simply can't bring myself to speak to anyone. Just text me. Just email me. Phone or face to face is like climbing Everest most days for me. And I mean climbing Everest WITH LYME.

Not gonna happen. 

I have the Lyme that would have probably gone in the direction of an MS diagnosis. My legs and arms are the most affected (ok, my heart is too). My muscles are fatigued 98% of the day, my knees buckle 5-50 times a day, no joke. Etc.

So that climbing Everest comment? Yeah. That's how I feel about talking on the phone.

Just like watching a movie, unless you're a fanatic... LOL  you don't talk to the actors on-screen. You watch and let it unfold.

Watching my kids play, talk, do homework, watch Netflix, etc., and not interacting with them cuts open my chest and rips my heart out, figuratively speaking of course.

I feel like a negligent parent. When my two older girls were in school and my youngest had one year left before she started, she watched TV a majority of every weekday of the entire school year. She knew how to run the remote.

All I had to ask her was what she wanted for lunch when the time came. And I used to homeschool my oldest! For 3 years I did this. I am an actively involved parent! Until Lyme's depersonalization.

Sadly, that can be my life. And I'm willing to bet it can be many of yours' too.

What would you say to your depersonalization? What would you say to those around you? Maybe getting those thoughts down here, then copying and pasting it into a letter to your loved ones wouldn't hurt.

I was finally able to break down in a lake of tears, yammering on and on about how I have become the above case study to my husband. It actually was very healing.

It doesn't mean I have ceased depersonalization, but at least now he knows WHY and where it comes from.

So that's what I've got for you tonight. I hope it is helpful. 

Peace, love, and cider mugs to you all in this beautiful fall 2013!

World Lyme Protest Day/Weekend and My Body Doth Protest

So yesterday and today (May 10 & 11, 2013) there have been events going on worldwide to spread the word about Lyme and other TBI (tick-borne illnesses).

I had an appointment with my attorney for my upcoming disability hearing at 11. I laid in bed, unable to get enough energy to rouse myself, until about 9:30. Dressed and fed, we all piled into the car for the drive. As soon as we got home, it was back to bed. Netflix offers me some great nostalgia when I'm in this predicament. Let's just say today's respite has a lot to do with this guy...

The pain and fatigue is pretty bad today. I'm not even wearing a Lyme awareness bracelet. How I wish I could have been somewhere today, spreading the word. Heck, I wish I could've been enjoying the company of my kiddos. So... In honor of this weekend's events, here is a nice pictorial upload to help spread Lyme awareness!

Here's praying tomorrow is better. Sometimes it's just not that easy being green...

Remember folks... Lyme testing is unreliable. Is this the mystery in the center of your issues?

 

Be aware that Lyme is the fastest growing chronic illness in the world. Wisconsin is in the top 5 endemic states in the country for Lyme disease. 

Lyme is like that ugly sweater your Great Aunt hand-made for you... It makes you miserable and you just can't get rid of it fast enough...

 It doesn't care how old you are...

In fact, it likes to invade whole families, congenitally.

It will take you places you never thought you'd go...

And leave you with something that becomes a part of you for months... (mine, going on 7 months now)

 Lyme will make you subject your children to regular traumatic blood draws for monitoring their basic functions while on lengthy treatments.

Every day that you go untreated is like a ticking time bomb, ready to go off at the precise moment: the perfect storm.

When it does... you can't do anything but give in.

Doctors simply aren't taught the wretched realities of Chronic Lyme disease...

There's just nothing simple about this illness.

So please, if you feel there may be something to this illness and your mysterious condition, check out the rest of my blog here, watch Under Our Skin (you can watch it online for free on Youtube, or Netflix, Hulu, and other places), and get help finding a Lyme Literate MD (LLMD) to check you out. Remember that a Lyme diagnosis is CLINICAL and NOT reliant on blood testing as the tests for Lyme are completely insufficient. They produce false negatives around 60% of the time.

Remember, regular doctors (no offense, really!) do not have the training and know-how. Not even Infectious Disease docs. I've been to more than I can list right now. None of them found my Lyme. Now, after treating for over a year, even the CDC agrees that I have it. So it wasn't because it wasn't there, it was because they simply didn't know how to diagnose it. No matter how much you trust your doctor, it would be like asking an electrician to install your new toilet. They just aren't equipped and will probably diagnose you with something else.

 If you need more information, talk to a Lymie. Trust in what they have to say. Visit www.WisconsinLyme.net or MDJunction's Lyme Support Group. Find a local support group in your area. Just do something.

Keep the faith guys and please educate yourself! The IDSA and CDC won't do it, so we have to.

Peace, love, & cider mugs...

Sitting Here Resting My Bones...

You know, no matter how strong my conviction is to update more regularly, something always tends to get in my way. Call it procrastination... Call it Lyme brain... Call it what you will... I'm trying my best, and I pray you'll forgive me for the lag-time.

I've had a few big gaps lately. I had signed up to go on a 5-day field trip to St. Louis with my oldest mini-warrior early in the school year with hopes that I would be much further along in my treatment. Well, the time came and I wasn't nearly where I would have hoped to be, physically speaking, but I had already committed.

Gator at the Arch!

Suffice it to say, I was a bit overwhelmed with everything. But it was so worth it. I had a fantastic time with my girl, and the two choirs she is in walked away from a national competition with a silver and a gold.

Here are a few more highlights in pictorial form for ya:

We saw Million Dollar Quartet at the Fabulous Fox Theater! It was amazing, and the kids (about 70 of them!) all learned a bit of terrific music history.

We went to Six Flags. Yeah. It rained that day. My brand new shoes on top, Ab's brand new shoes 100% soaked with her poor feet wet too!

While we were doing our sitting and finding shelter from the rain, we got caricaturized!

We hit the Old Spaghetti Factory too. No one mess with Gator and her pasta!

I had to take some serious breaks and was so glad to see all of the "free" time scheduled in to the itinerary. When the kids hit the pool (and the other chaperones sat and watched) I hit my room to rest. The day we went to Six Flags I was the one who sat as much as possible. Long story short, I did what I had to so I could do my duties as chaperone and not completely bottom out.

That was a week-and-a-half ago or so.
A few days ago... Well...

I chaperoned my middle mini-warrior's 2nd grade class trip to the Milwaukee Public Museum. Oy. Did I not realize that meant WALKING? Holy cow. Let's just say I have crashed early for the past two nights, with ongoing leg pain (pretty severe), feet pain (also severe), headache, etc., and am kicking myself for creating a busy life these last few weeks.

And... a few pics from that escapade...

"Not sure what to think, but I will eek a strange smile for ya Mom!" In the Butterfly exhibit. Good times.

Mom got some one-on-one time with some, too.

Getting more used to it...

Oh! And let's not forget the glacier! Doesn't she look like a natural explorer? Go Mater!

HOWEVER... I also don't regret it. I mean, I can't stand the thought of being that absent mom. It's not in my DNA, and I'm not about to start neglecting my kiddos now. Especially not when they are going through a tough time too. So we get out there, we fight, we fall down, we get back up, and we do it all over again.

Until next time... More on the essential oils... Promise.

Chins up and keep the faith.

The Essential Things of Life

So last time we bore our gory sickie souls to you all... And while you got the prettied up version, I'm sure it was enough for you to walk away with at least an inkling of sympathy for anyone with chronic illness and the flu!

Today's topic is rather tame, and even––dare I say––exhilarating, for those on a quest for wellness or even wholeness.

A few years ago, a friend of mine from church shared with me a tiny smidgeon about therapeutic grade essential oils and their benefit in our lives. I bought a few of them and began using them, very infrequently, around the house and a few times on our bodies to ward off sickness. I quickly forgot about using them so much and they sat, unused, on my shelf. (Thankfully they don't go rancid, like cooking oils do!)

The problem was, however, that I just didn't know the science behind these things, and with my personality, that was a problem... I needed more info and didn't know to ask at the time. And that is ok. Because there is definitely a reason for everything, even if we don't understand it at any given time.

Well, as you read last time, when we were hit with the plague (okay, the flu, but it felt like the plague!!!) I called my friend up for a diffuser. I still had a blend from Young Living, called Thieves, that would be perfect for this sort of thing.

Thieves is an interesting name, no? It bears this name because of where it was discovered. Back in England during the time of the plague, there was a band of grave robbers who would go into the homes and such of people who were sick and dying/dead from the plague. They would douse themselves with a blend of oils and enter the homes... And not get sick. Truth. When these bandits were captured, they revealed their oil blend to the authorities in exchange for a lesser sentence. Nice, huh? Well, this is the blend that is inside every bottle of Thieves. It is very anti-everything bad for you. Anti-bacterial, -microbial, -fungal, -viral. Everything! It also helps to bolster the immune system and more. It has a list of positive attributes that would rival even the fairest in the land.

We immediately started diffusing the Thieves as well as applying one drop on the bottoms of our feet nightly. When the oils are diffused, tiny microscopic particles of the oils are lifted into the air. The ones that are airborne actually kill pathogens in the air. The ones we inhale go directly into our bloodstream via the lungs. Most essential oils are molecularly small enough to cross the blood-brain-barrier; something most pharmaceuticals cannot do.

Our recovery from the flu was quicker than we had anticipated. What's more, I have heard from so many families in our area and in my home state how they have all relapsed. We have not. Immune-boosting power.

The reason they are called essential oils is simple: it is everything essential to the life of the plant. Nature is full of pathogens that are not only out to get us humans, but also any living thing. Plants are susceptible to illness just as we are. Think of their essential oils as their immune system. And they are powerful. Here's a great example of the power-packed punch of an essential oil: one solitary drop of peppermint oil is equivalent to 24 cups of peppermint tea! That is no joke. Just 3 drops in a two-gallon container was enough for a refreshing water beverage.

I have one more thing to say on today's post about essential oils. These oils MUST be therapeutic grade or you honestly do not know what you are getting. Some oils are chemically distilled/extracted, and residues of these chemicals can be left in the end product. Others could be blended with a carrier oil and still be called "pure essential oil" or what have you. There are even more specifics, such as harvesting time and procedure, organic issues, and more. So I urge you, if you want to give this a try, please don't go to the local shop and pick up a $6 bottle of "essential oil." There are perfume and food grades that are largely lab-derived, and do not possess the healing qualities that therapeutic grade oils have.

More to come on how these oils are fitting into my life with Lyme. Until then, keep your chin up and steady on friends.

Proto-Calling All Seekers!

So about 2 1/2 weeks after I blogged in February, my entire family came down with the FLU. Ugh. It was awful. Here's what happened:

Saturday, Feb 16th, we all went to bed, myself a bit eager for Sunday for two reasons. #1, Ab was headed to a regional spelling competition with the Knights of Columbus and I was going to be taking her. #2, it was my birthday. What a great way to spend a special day... enjoying one of my kiddos' academic excellence, even in the face of this disease.

Well, about 30 minutes before the stroke of midnight, my hubby and I were startled awake by Ab blasting through our door, exclaiming "Reb's barfing!" Well, she sleeps on the top bunk, so that was not going to be a fun way to spend the next half hour or so... Nick took to cleaning the bed while I cleaned the child.

We went back to bed, but I basically got to "enjoy" the wee early hours of my birthday by running every 20 minutes to the "sickie bed" when Reb would get sick again and again.

Plans didn't change, however, for Ab and myself. We went to the competition where she took 3rd place and a bronze medal. I am so so proud of that girl!

What we didn't know was that we probably ended up infecting quite a few people while there. Not the best gift, but when you don't know you're giving it away, what can you do? Kind of like congenital Lyme and my family. The unknown gift that keeps on giving. Until now, that is.

Anyway, Ab got sick Sunday evening. Reb was still sick. Then Monday came. Nick got home from work to find me, a lump of nothingness on the couch... Stomach pain. Him too. We sat there, feeling green. All of a sudden, Nick got up and went to speak to the porcelain god. The second time I've ever heard him be sick in the 15 years that I've known him. Seriously.

I sat on the couch, thinking how I was not feeling well and the bathroom on this level was occupied for the moment, and realized that I should begin my trek up the stairs as it takes me so long to climb Mount Staircase with my legs so afflicted by Lyme.

It was a grand decision. I got to the upstairs bathroom just in time. Ugh. Now the only one not sick was our middle daughter, Mir.

Nick and I lay in our bed, trying not to move for the pain, unless it was to the bathroom for another "yelling" match between ourselves and the echoing toilet bowl. How awful this flu was!!

Tuesday rolled around to find our last healthy kid incapacitated as well. At least she's the easy one. When she's sick, you wouldn't even know unless you walked in on the act. At age 7 (and earlier!) she does her business and cleans up, then it's back to bed and no one knows anything even happened. It definitely was the best order!

So... during all of that turmoil and suffering, we had some great friends bring by the root beer popsicles that were suggested by my home care nurse as well as some caffeine-free coke to drink room temp and flat. Yuck. But again, it did the trick.

The best decision we made was to have another dear friend bring over her last diffuser she had in stock so that I could diffuse some Thieves essential oil blend from Young Living. I began looking more into the essential oils and realized how amazing they are. They are like the life force of plants and work within our own bodies to help facilitate healing and wellness!

I will leave that little tidbit for you to chew on until next time. But this is the starting point of probably the best decision I could have made in a long time... Maybe since I decided to marry my husband and then have his children. Really. It's that good of a decision.

Until next time... Keep your chins up and steady on.

Surely to Put a Spring in Your Step!

Well, hello there... How have you all been since February? Hopefully you didn't think I was gone away. I know it's been a while.

Well I have some very good info to pass along! How about that?!?! After 1 1/2 years of treatment, I think we have finally stumbled onto greatness as far as a strategy is concerned. Now, since it's been a while, I will start back at where I left you all.

I've been doing the Glutathione pushes weekly. This continues to be a great help.

After 16 weeks of IV Rocephin, I have switched to IV Invanz. This is a new antibiotic and with that, of course, comes a pretty hefty price tag. I pray my insurance doesn't pull any fast ones on us. The two best things about Invanz is that #1 because it is so new, there is very little resistance to it, and #2, I only have to infuse once a day!!! Hooray!!!

Not much had been happening since I blogged last, so don't feel like you've missed out. Lyme is such a long-term treatment. We are marathon warriors, people. Endurance, endurance, endurance.

There is one thing I can't help but bubble over with pride to you all, though. My eldest of Lyme warrior offspring, Ab, just recently participated in her very first musical. This is something near and dear to my heart, as I have quite a history in the theatrical world. I was so proud to coach her vocally (it's something I do), and hear that she walked away from auditions with the LEAD!!!

Here she is, post-closing night performance, with her flowers and excitement. What a great kid.

That's right, FOUR bouquets of gorgeous flowers!

Even with the struggles of Lyme, she puts herself out there and lives with excellence. Of course, she comes home every night and has mom rub her aching muscles down with some essential oils... but more about that in the next post. ;)

I am so honored to have you all out there, reading along and joining me – in your own ways – in this fight. Please stick with us. We have a ways to go. I hope our story brings inspiration and maybe even a few answers or starting places for your own paths.

Big smiles and happy Spring, everybody!

Say Goodbye to Toxic Things / Gloot-a-what-own?

So it's been quite a few weeks since I've updated again. Here's the lowdown...

First of all, I am thrilled to report that one of us Lam girls is going to be [possibly] [hopefully] [rejoicingly] finishing with treatment in the next 2-3 months! My littlest Lymie will be set free of treatments after this next few months. We are SUPER hopeful for this to happen and are more than excited for her to start living like a "normal" kid again real soon. She is the youngest, so she's been the easiest one to treat. The other two little Lymies will continue treatment along with yours truly, dear old mom. The girls, however, do have a lot less time to treat compared to myself.

So... onto a PICC update! I have successfully had my PICC line in place for 14 weeks today. It has become a part of me in many ways, and life is "normal" with it. Yes, my husband still has to wash me and my hair in the shower... He's a good man. Yes, I still have twice daily infusions... It's boring. But I seem to have found a good relationship with PICCy. My nurse can not believe it's been in so successfully for 14 weeks without problem, except for the stupid adhesive burns I get. Yeah, those are frustrating. Even today, my skin tore when she took the tegaderm off, and boy does the betadine sting when she has to clean the area! WHOOO!!

Even though the meds have been going well and the PICC itself has been good, I have been struggling with my symptoms. And here's why: my LLND ran some new and quite specific tests that were developed by Dr. Ritchie Shoemaker, and we discovered that I have a very high chemical toxicity. It's so bad that it is worse than the Lyme right now. Basically, what this means is that my body isn't detoxing the way it should... Even with the efforts I make. The fresh lemon juice in my water all day long, the Epsom Salt baths, the Milk Thistle, juicing fresh veggies including greens and beets, etc.

So now I am also infusing a compounded substance called Glutathione (pronounced gloot-a-thigh-own), which is basically our bodies' number one antioxidant that it makes. This should be helping to clear my "methylation pathways," or the detoxing pathways, in my body, so that those nasty toxins have a way to escape.

So, that's the latest. Glutathione. If you want to hear someone who sounds awesome say it, check this video out, of an amazing Lyme (and much more) doctor, who happens to be German. This is Dr. Dietrich Klinghardt, who is absolutely amazing. Did I say he was amazing? Yeah. If you want about a 45-minute teaching on the 5 pathways to health, basically, watch all 5 parts of his "Fundamental Teachings" on YouTube. Anyway, he says "glutathione" within the first minute, so it's a quick listen. :)

So there you have it. Pretty great. Love that doctor. He's truly a great in this world. AAAAANYWAY...

So I am pushing glutathione on Saturdays. I have had to miss a few because it's expensive. It's $40 per treatment. Which just adds to the pile of money we have flying out every week... But this one is a pre-pay only, so if we don't have the money, we don't get the treatment. Will be back on track next week with it. Can't wait for that. It does help a whole lot.

Hope you all are doing well out there! Thanks for joining us on our journey. Peace, love, and cider mugs, y'all! Stay warm!!!

Getting PICC'd On and More...

Life with Lyme is never dull. Except when you can't do anything but lay on the couch and cry... My intentions were to write this post a few months ago. Yep. Lyme. No fun. So here we are. Fiiiiinally updating. Hopefully will be more caught up and can continue on a more normal schedule of updates.

School started and with it came a new set of obstacles such as waking up at the right time to get all of my kiddos to school at the right times. 4K drop-off at 7:50. Back home until 8:15 to get my middle schooler off to school by 8:30, and then a half-hour wait in the van until the 9:00 hour when I can let my 2nd grader out for the start of her day. The last two schools are literally 90 seconds apart. I sit. A lot. :)

The girls have been doing great with their treatments. I really hope and pray that we won't need to be treating much longer, at least for the Lyme and Bart. The Babesia needs to be treated for about a year or so, and that's ok. Except for the part where insurance resets in January and we will have to begin paying for the Mepron again. That's the über expensive medicine. $5,000 for 3 months for one person. Our co-pay is 10% at best.

Here we are at our quarterly post-blood draw Starbucks treat. Nothing makes a girl feel better after a poke like a nice decaf Latte, Hot Chocolate, Steamer, or Caramel Apple Spice!

As for me, just like the summer, my downward spiral and plateau down there in the valley continued. My LLND and I discussed a different plan, which included me being joined in holy union with a plastic tube, better known as a PICC line. Until then, I got to stop taking oral antibiotics – as they had pretty much shredded my stomach – and begin a month-long regimen of 3 times weekly Bicillin injections, which my amazing hubby got to administer.

Bicillin. A thick white goo, three times a week. 1.5" long needle,  has to go ALL the way into my hip muscle. And it's not a thin needle. It's actually quite large. 21 Gauge if you know what that means.

I had another Western blot (Lyme test) and this time, even the CDC (Center for Disease Control) couldn't deny that I am POSITIVE for Lyme! The longer you treat, the more your body can identify the bacteria and begin to make more antibodies against it. We needed a CDC-positive test result for the insurance company to approve and pay for the PICC line.

The paperwork was finally processed and the appointment was made for me to travel 3 hours to a hospital in Appleton, WI, to get my PICC line. This is not a surprise to Lymies as we know how much scrutiny our doctors are under. This was the only hospital the company could find that would allow my doctor privileges to order my PICC line. Serious drama in the medical world revolving around a tiny spirochete called Borrelia Burgdorferi (the Lyme bacteria) makes getting treatment frustrating to say the least!!

My hubby drove up with me (of course) for my appointment. A Peripherally Inserted Central Catheter (PICC) was placed in my right arm, above the elbow, on the inside. This is good for up to a year, and Lord-willing, will remain until it is no longer needed.

The amazing lady who inserted my PICC line. This is a surgical procedure, so Nick had to leave the room for the actual insertion.

 They had to try 6 times to get the catheter inserted properly. It goes up a vein that travels through the shoulder and then joins the Jugular (which we don't want) and then the Superior Vena Cava (which we do want). This is where we want the PICC – it stops just above the heart, so that the medicine gets mixed with the largest volume of blood and sent throughout the body immediately. She finally got the PICC placed and off we went to radiology for a chest X-ray to make sure my PICC looked good and in the right place. Hooray! It was, and we headed for home.

Here it is!

So now I had the fun of learning how to infuse my meds, how to flush the line, and keep it in good condition, including not getting it wet. Press 'N Seal is good for this! So is my husband, who washes my hair for me. Yes. That's right.

Unfortunately, after the first week we discovered I have an allergy to adhesives, like my father. So we switched to hypo-allergenic dressings (called a tegaderm) and very specific tape called Mefix. The following picture shows my arm, finally healing from the blisters and sporting a new clear tegaderm.

Yes, it's the same arm... the first picture was taken in a mirror. :)

There were more blisters, but you get the idea. So now my life would consist of twice daily antibiotic infusions, along with taking oral meds as well. Each infusion takes about 45 minutes start to finish. I do get weekends off, though. The new protocol seems to be working. I hope. It runs on a 4-week cycle, and about week 3 I began to see some improvements.

I could actually walk (still slowly) up my stairs without stopping half-way. My legs were still in a good amount of fatigue and pain at the top, but I could do it! Well, at the end of week 4, I took a major crash and it seemed that all the progress I had made was completely gone. I had more fatigue than I had had in weeks, the limb pain and fatigue was back in full-force, and my migraines came back.

This disease is frustrating, to say the least. My LLND and I are figuring that this is a result of the die-off (that's the herx, or Herxheimer, reaction) from the bacteria letting go of all the neurotoxins which really make you feel sicker. Much sicker.

Okay, this post is long enough. I will continue (hopefully) and keep posting regularly again.

Peace, love, and cider mugs to you all. Stay well.

Summer Lovin'... Not So Much

Well, as we continue our saga of the "lost summer," things get a bit uglier, with some fun interspersed. We arrived back home to Wisconsin on the last day of June. Without so much as a seemingly good night's rest, we were unpacked, laundered, re-packed, and on our way to Michigan. It was our traditional stint at the National Cherry Festival in Traverse City, MI, where I grew up. Each year, we visit my relatives and have a blast playing "fudgie" (which is what northern Michiganders call tourists as people come up north for the fudge!!), get some much-needed R&R, and let the kids get spoiled just a bit by Nana and Papa and the aunts and uncles.

Here's Abigail... Our yearly tradition is to take the girls' pictures in front of the Cherry Festival signage. It's a great little growth chart of sorts! Oh, and these are the "pose however you wish" shots. Fun stuff...

This year, our trip included borrowing a wheelchair from my parents' church so that I could get around the big festival. Note to all: those wheelchairs with four small wheels are a joke! Don't ever use one unless you KNOW you will only be on paved surfaces!! Whew, Nick had a nasty time pushing me around on any dirt, gravel, or grass! I almost got dumped more than a few times!

After 5 days of this trip, we were back on the road for home for about a week. Then we were off to Indiana for our church's annual conference for 3 days. We had a tremendous time, even though I had to stay in bed for much of the fun/free time. Too much pain and fatigue, too little was the ability to "beam" places. Ahh, where's Scotty when you need him?

Miriam, AKA Vanna...

I am happy to report the rest of July was spent at home. This summer meant a lot more pain for me. I am sure the travels didn't exactly help the situation out... On top of the "normal" muscle fatigue and deep muscle pains, tremors and twitchiing, I also began having pretty severe joint pain. The worst aspect was my knees and elbows. More on that later...

Anyway, I began having headaches again as well. I had lived about 3 lovely months without the migraines, and now they were back. A much-needed respite, I guess.

August came, and with it, the sadness of saying goodbye again to Hannah, our former exchange daughter. She flew back home to Germany and began finalizing things for university in the fall. As for us, it meant one last big trip. Back to Michigan we went; this time to Holland, for a vacation with Nick's family.

And Rebekah, the show stopper, apparently.

I always love these trips we take. Relaxing, fun, and his family is truly a blessing in more ways than I could tell you about in a day. Let's suffice it to say that they are truly my family as well. I am blessed to have an amazing family that I married into! Two great families. It's amazing and wonderful.

This time around, I had to take things so much slower, so much easier. I made the mistake of going to the beach with the family. It is on Lake Michigan, and on a sand dune. Even though we picked a spot that was barely any incline-on-sanddune-walking at all, I still, very much, over-did it. Laying in the sun and walking in the water... whew! LOL And then, the walk back to the car... Up that tiny incline, well, compared to the rest of the beach's dunes, but it was big enough to make most people a bit out of breath, and for me, that meant stopping every 4 or so steps to rest. It was pretty intense. And I paid for it pretty hard the rest of the day and into the next two days.

All three Lymie munchkins. Adorable, no?

Life with Lyme + Co. is certainly a perspective changer.

The rest of August was spent getting all three of our Lymie kids ready for school. We now had a middle schooler, an elementary schooler, and a 4-K-er, ALL AT DIFFERENT SCHOOLS. This was shaping up to be a fun [read: difficult for mama-also-known-as-bus-driver] school year!

And who could forget Hannah? Our kid away from kids... Away from country... But not away from our hearts. Love you Hannah!!

I guess we have made it through August. September will follow in a few days. And so much more!!

Peace, love, and cider mugs!
Lauren

And another one's gone, another one's gone...

Yep, Another one bites the dust! Puzzle piece, that is.

My parents called me the other day to let me know that my dad got his Western blot results back from IgeneX. They faxed them over to me and I interpreted them.

Yes, Virginia, there is a puzzle piece! He is positive for Lyme. And while that is such sad news for me, it is also another clue to my health mystery-history. It looks like I was most likely born with this, just like my kids were.

You see, Lyme disease is sexually transmissible. While there has been a lot of debate over this aspect in the past, more and more studies have shown that yes, it can be transmitted through intercourse. And yes, my mom will still be tested, but we know that after nearly 40 years of marriage to my dad, either she gave it to him or he gave it to her; more than 36 years ago. My guess is that she gave it to him, as he seemed to be in better health then her in my early years... but we Lymies know that it can lay dormant for years without indication, so we will never really know this for sure. It's the whole chicken versus egg debacle all over again! ;)

If you haven't yet seen it, please check out my new pages within the blog. I have added tabs at the top. Please share this blog with everyone you know. Times have gotten very tough, financially speaking. We thank you for your time, friendship, prayers, and support.

Also take a look at our new video on YouTube!

I will be continuing my summer update soon. Just wanted to get this piece of news out to you tonight. And if you pray, please pray for my parents. After years of strange and rare illnesses, they finally have an answer to a huge question that has been looming ever since I found out my life was plagued with Lyme.

The question of Lyme is no longer without answer for them. And it's going to be a long road.

Lots of love,
Lauren

So... Enough About Me, What Do YOU Think of Me?

Well, as promised, another update. This time I get to talk about me. Fun fun... LOL

The summer started out sl...BAM/WHACK/POW! fast. Yeah, we thought it might have a nice, slow introduction. You know, take its time to slowly walk around us, whispering sweet nothings into our ears... introduce itself... "Hi, I'm summer, I like ice cream for a hot midday treat and breezy evening walks by the lake," that sort of thing.

Instead, May (yes, still spring, technically) presented itself with myself hosting a screening of Under Our Skin – if you still haven't seen this documentary on Lyme, it's high time you did! – then another "journey," as my youngest calls it, to the kids' LLND (Lyme Literate Naturopathic Doctor [who's also a nurse practitioner] for those who weren't really sure but felt silly asking), then it was off to help hosting the Wisconsin Lyme Network's annual "Lace Up For Lyme Walk" at the Milwaukee Zoo in – of course – Milwaukee. A few various doctor's appointments and the month of May was well-rounded out.

June hit with a whirlwind as well. My older kiddos finished up the school year, including my Abigator graduating from 5th grade. Terrific ceremony; we especially were filled with pride and joy to hear her name called more than 5 times for different honors and such including peer mediation, which is a terrific honor at this school, and other accolades. I shot how-to videos with a friend, had more doctor appointments, held a support group meeting (every month, actually), and then we were off to Florida!!!

An 8-day vacation for the whole family, including our former exchange daughter from Germany, who came back again this summer for a visit. We went through Tropical Storm Debby for half of this time, so we weren't able to wear me out so much. Probably a good thing!

Here is a short photo journal (so many more pics were taken of course, but you can see the highlights...)

We got to stay at Dinsey's Magic Kingdom until it closed. Watched the castle turn brilliant colors, and then some cool fireworks.

The "kids" on the ferry boat ride home... Yes, Dad was one of the kids at this point.

Rebekah was with me in the wheelchair most of the day, especially at night. She was plum tuckered out.

Me and Hannah over my shoulder. Friends/family forever.

My Lyme babies' first dance in the Atlantic. Quite the windy day! They had a blast.

Here we are, blue at Kennedy Space Center. Sorry for the grainy quality... Low light n all...

We even went up in space! Oh... Wait... This was a presentation. Either that or there's a huge, enormous threat shaped like a man attacking the earth... ;)

Through all this my Lyme treatment was pretty much steady on, status quo. We rented wheelchairs at the parks as I can't do much walking. I guess it's better to have my hubby push me around in a wheelchair than for me to not go! It was still good fun. Especially to be able to give this experience and spend this amazing time with our kids. Even the biggest one from Germany.

I didn't really have any changes in my symptoms... until July.

And we will pick up from here in a day or so.

Thanks for sticking with me folks. Peace, love, and cider mugs!